Adopting a Cat: Trust is Key

June is National Adopting a Cat Month, and as a feline behavioural expert, vet nurse and cat owner, I know first-hand what joys cat ownership can bring, but also how hard building those relationships can be. But adoption isn’t just about choosing a cat you fall in love with, it’s about making sure your home, lifestyle and expectations are right for them too.

Every cat is an individual. Their personality is shaped by genetics, early life experiences and their environment. Kittens go through a crucial learning period between around 2–7 weeks old, where positive exposures can influence how confident they become as adults. Genetics also play a part, but obviously, if you are adopting a rescue cat, you won’t know how they grew up or what type of parents they had. What matters most is understanding the cat in front of you and supporting them in the right way.

Start with your lifestyle

I always encourage owners to take a step back and think honestly about their home and their lifestyle. Are things calm or busy? Are you out a lot? Do you already have other pets? These factors all play a role in how well a cat will settle.

Cats can be adaptable, but compatibility isn’t guaranteed, particularly in multi-cat households. I’ve worked with families where, despite doing everything right, the personalities of two cats simply didn’t suit. In one case, I supported an owner through the incredibly difficult decision to rehome one cat, prioritising the welfare of both. It’s never easy, but sometimes it is the kindest outcome.

Focus on the essentials: key resources

As a feline behavioural expert, I guide owners to think about whether their cat has everything they need to feel safe and express natural behaviours.

These key resources include:

• Safe, comfortable places to rest
• Access to food and fresh water in the right locations
• Clean, well-positioned litter trays
• Opportunities to scratch, climb and perch
• Regular play that allows them to channel their natural hunting instincts
• Positive, pressure-free interaction with people

When these are in place, cats are far more likely to feel secure, confident and settled.

Trust takes time

One of the biggest things I talk about with new owners is trust. It isn’t something you can rush or force; it’s something you build.

I’ve seen this first-hand many times. On one cat sitting visit, I was told, “You won’t see her, she won’t come out from under the bed.” Instead of pushing her, I simply spent time in the same space, allowing her to get used to my presence. Over a few days, that trust grew to the point where she approached me, accepted gentle interaction, and eventually allowed me to brush her, purring away. I was able to send a video to their owner, who couldn’t believe the change.

I’ve also experienced this personally. One of my own rescue cats had spent much of their early life confined to a cage. Even now, although they enjoy freedom, that trust has taken time, patience and consistency to build. Trust really is everything.

Do your homework

If you’re considering a cat or kitten, I recommend using the checklist from International Cat Care to guide your decision-making. It helps ensure you’re asking the right questions and choosing a cat that truly suits your situation.

Support when you need it

If you’re noticing behaviours like inappropriate toileting, scratching, aggression or tension between cats, these are often signs of stress rather than “bad behaviour”.

I offer feline behaviour consultations and Feline Environment Optimisation, where I assess your cat’s environment (either in person or via video) and provide a detailed, tailored action plan to support both you and your cat.

One owner contacted me shortly after adopting a stray who had become very food anxious. With some reassurance, practical advice and a structured plan, they were able to feel confident they were handling things in the right way and avoid reinforcing unwanted behaviours early on.

Love being a cat owner

Adopting a cat is incredibly rewarding, but it’s about more than just giving them a home. It’s about creating an environment where they feel safe, understood and able to thrive, and that always starts with patience, understanding, and trust.

Contact me if you need help with your cat

Get in touch if your cats need some help, and you’d like to know more.
Email: zoe@thefriendlypetnurse.co.uk [opens new email]
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Before any consultation work takes place, The Friendly Pet Nurse will require your pet’s clinical vet records. These must be obtained by yourself via your registered veterinary clinic and sent to: zoe@thefriendlypetnurse.co.uk